Archive for » September, 2009 «
Do not dare laugh!!!
In U.S. they invented a machine that catches thieves they took it out to different countries for a test.
In U.S.A, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves
In UK, in 30 minutes it caught 50 thieves
Spain, in 30 minutes it caught 65 thieves
Ghana, in 30 minutes it caught 600 thieves
India, in 15 minutes the machine was stolen.
I thought I told you not to laugh!!!
…A wife’s poem-
He didn’t like the curry
And he didn’t like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard…
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn’t prepare the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew,
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Isn’t there anything I could do
To match his mothers shoe
Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around
and slapped him tight
Like his mother used to!!!!
- Author unknown…
…The Best Moments in Life
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.
3. Enjoying a ride down the country side.
4. Listening to your favorite song while traveling.
5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.
6. Passing your final exams with good grades.
7. Being a part of an interesting conversation.
8. Finding some money in some old pants.
9. Laughing at yourself..
10. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.
11. Laughing without a reason.
12. “Accidentally” hearing someone say something good about you.
13. Watching the sunset.
14. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.
15. Having a great time with your friends.
16. Seeing the one you love happy.
17. Wearing the favorite shirt of a person you love.
18. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.
19. Hearing someone telling you “I LOVE YOU”
…
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey please.”
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, that’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?”
The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.”
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. “That one’s even more expensive! $10,000!What does it do?”
“Oh, that one’s a C++ monkey; it can manage object- oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff,” said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, “That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?”
The shopkeeper replied, “Well, I haven’t actually seen it doing anything, but the other monkeys call him the project manager .”
Love..just another thought…
No topic has been discussed more than love. For ages we have been the audience to great love stories, some happy and some tragic. The mere mention of love puts a shine on some people’s face while a layer of sadness appears for those who failed in love relationships. People “fall” in and out of love every now and then.
I personally believe that love is a gift that we should enjoy to the fullest. But whenever I look around, I don’t see anybody enjoying it.
Some people feel upset, frustrated and irritated. They put all the blame on their partners, and soon they change their partners. The same thing happens again with the next partner. Eventually, the blame moves to love in general. If not love, then circumstances, situations, etcetera gets blamed. Have any of us ever tried to find out why love gives us so much pain? Let’s take some moments out of our so-called love lives, and see what’s really happening.
I believe that love is becoming a synonym for infatuation. After a couple of meetings, both boy and girl declare that they are in love. Then, sooner or later, both of them are in “love” with somebody else! This cycle is just unending. The problem lies in labeling physical attraction as love. If love is a flower, then infatuation is a plastic flower. Both look like same but only the real flower can bestow its beauty on you. You can possess and keep the plastic rose for years. You can keep it to satisfy your mind but you can’t satisfy your heart with it.
We need to understand that we can’t make love happen. Just let everything go smoothly and it will happen by itself. I am not saying to avoid approaching those you like. Approach these people with pure heart and feelings, but only to be friends. Don’t think that you might be the ideal couple. Don’t confuse infatuation and love. After you get to know the difference between love and infatuation, only then you will be able to enjoy the love!
Love should be unconditional. We often put conditions in front of love, such as desiring someone who doesn’t talk too much or who is more social. It’s wrong to call this love. Love doesn’t need any conditions. We might not realize it but it’s these conditions that are responsible for our failures and pains in love. Always remember, if others love you or if you love others, love them as they are. If you try to change people in order to love them, then it’s not love. It becomes a deal. Love is very bad at doing business. It knows no dealings.
Consciously or subconsciously, we destroy our lives by demanding too much from our partners. Our mind is very calculating and very greedy. It never gets satisfied with anything. If our partner spends three hours with us, we want him to spend another two hours. If he eats breakfast with us, we want him to eat lunch and dinner with us. This creates irritation. We need to understand that we have to enjoy our time to the fullest. Even if it is 10 minutes, we can spend those minutes by caring and loving each other. But most of us spend those 10 minutes fighting and arguing over the fact that why the other partner has just 10 minutes to spend.
If not corrected early, it starts happening everyday. Every day there is an argument over the same thing, and very soon the relationship ends because of such senseless demands. Some people say that whenever they are with their partners, they talk about their job or themselves all the time. Maybe the job and family is where they find excitement. Just enjoy that moment. Keep one thing in mind-that the more demands you put in front of your partner, the more distance you are creating in your relationship. You may not realize it in the beginning, but by the time you realize it, it’s too late!
Something worth mentioning is possessiveness. Partners try to posses each other always. They need to understand that love is not a commodity that one can possess. We think that if we don’t possess each other, that means we don’t love each other. By possessing our partner, we prove our love! I suggest you to let your love fly like a bird. Put 100 percent trust in it. If it’s yours it will be with you always. If it’s not, then let it go. Let it beautify some other person’s life. Somebody else will beautify your life. Never forget that if you try to possess your love, then you are insulting your love. If you respect your love, then let it fly in the air. You will see its beauty when you actually start practicing it.
Last but not the least is jealousy, which I believe is the most harmful thing in any relationship. I have personally seen many beautiful and long relationships destroyed because of it. Jealousy arises when a partner can’t bear to see the other partner with some other person of the opposite sex. I believe love is all about making the other person happy. Do you think he will be able to be happy with you if you take him away from others? Absolutely not. Nobody likes to be enslaved. Let your partner be happy with others. If your love is pure, your partner will realize he can’t get the happiness that you give to him from others.
Jealousy also creates weird situations in the mind. We start suspecting every action of our partners and creating narratives and scenarios in our heads. We get jealous before anything even happens. Read the newspaper every day for a week and you will read at least one story regarding the murder of somebody due to jealousy. It’s bliss if you are not jealous by nature. If you do get jealous, I would suggest you to drop it right now before it ruins your life, as well as others’.
The topic of relationships is so vast that a whole book could be written on it. The point of writing this article is let you know the beauty of love and how to enjoy it to its fullest. We all need to revise our dictionaries. We have to stop using the phrase “fall in love.” Instead we all have to “rise in love.” Jealousy, possessiveness and demands are some of the ways to fall in love. Getting rid of them is the only way to rise in love. Just try to give more and more love to your partner. Don’t think you are getting less love. It’s not a stock market in which you have to get a bigger return on what you have invested. It’s love, which knows no such things. If you find it difficult or weird, it’s not your fault. I hope that after reading this article, at least half of Baruch would rise in love. You will see how beautiful it is. Good Luck! Enjoy!
…Not too long ago, the CTO at Dudley H.’s company had a startling revelation: there should never, ever be a need for technical support. If a client has an issue using one of their products, then the problem is most certainly in the product. Maybe the UI is a little confusing. Maybe it’s not documented enough. Maybe the documentation isn’t clear enough. Whatever the case, every client issue means that someone — be it the developer, tester, or helpdesk technician — didn’t do their job properly and should strive to improve themselves.
Of course, the counterargument to the CTO’s revelation, lobbied primarily by the helpdesk staff, was that many users are simply lazy, stupid, or lazy and stupid, and no amount of improvement could ever change that. Not that it mattered, though. The CTO was determined and set a new policy that all client issues were to have “problem/improvement” reports written about them, and that all reports were to be reviewed at the higest level. Being the loyal employees that they were, Dudley and his fellow helpdesk technicians began developing these reports.
————————————————-
ISSUE #88274
————————————————-
Client Issue:
“Has ANY person in your company ever Looked at or tryed to READ any maniual man u all something like thet that it’s funney even after 7 years I still LAUGH any way some people like Ta know I mean Ya know!”
Problem Point:
We failed to provide the client with a version of their manual in garbled,
unpunctuated non-english.
Improvement Goal:
Many companies miss the garbled, unpunctuated non-english market segment completely, and we should not be one of them. It’s important to remember that for every client that understands “Click the ‘submit’ button to save your changes”, there’s another that only understands “klik tHe summit butt on two SAVE yer changez ya know ya know”.
————————————————-
ISSUE #88279
————————————————-
Client Issue:
“I understand the issues are on our end, but at least try to make me laugh
while I am venting! THAT’S CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!”
Problem Point:
Our technician was not entertaining enough while the client complained about a matter unrelated to the company.
Improvement Goal:
Instead of being professional and courteous, the technician should have known that the client was upset before taking the call so that he could have answered the phone in a funny squeaky voice and punctuated the conversation with circus sound effects.
————————————————-
ISSUE #88304
————————————————-
Client Issue:
“I STILL have a problem with my Hotmail account. At the very least, tell them to e-mail me like they care and tell them to fix it. Maybee TECH SUPPORT lost it? mabee they need a coster or something to wipe there as**^^%? did I say that NA no way must have been a finger Slip? i get that a lot!”
Problem Point:
Our technician was unable to solve a problem with a product produced by a
different company, specifically Hotmail by Microsoft.
Improvement Goal:
Even though our technicians are not employees of Microsoft, they should have had the foresight to work for them for several years to become an expert on their products before gaining employment with our current company. Our technicians are cutting corners, and that’s just sad.
————————————————-
ISSUE #88311
————————————————-
Client Issue:
“I read on a website that your softweare had a security breach. (Provides a link to that website.) Whan are you planning on fixing this security breach, as I refuse to use your software until this is fixed.”
Problem Point:
The technician assumed the client would read the next sentence in the website’s article, which mentioned that the security breach in question was fixed less than two days after it was discovered… three years ago.
Improvement Goal:
Begin every email, support ticket and phone conversation with by shouting
“WELCOME TO (COMPANY), WHERE WE FIXED A MINOR SECURITY ISSUE SEVERAL YEARS AGO!”
————————————————-
ISSUE #88318
————————————————-
Client Issue:
“your getting than you used to be”
(That’s the entirety of the message from the client.)
Problem Point:
While it is unclear whether or not this is actually a complaint, what is clear is that the technician’s “getting” is in some way different than the technician himself was at some point in the past.
Improvement Goal:
Each technician should take better care of his “getting”, to ensure that it stops differing from how the technician used to be. That way, the technician will potentially be praised by the client with the commendation that, “your getting is now exactly the same as you are now”. And those are the type of praises that result in raises.
————————————————-
ISSUE #88334
————————————————-
Client Issue:
“You’re wrong, check with Bob Williams. I spoke with him last week, and his
answer contradicted what you’re telling me now.”
Problem Point:
Even though Bob Williams hasn’t worked for our company for two and a half
years, the technician should have the names, addresses and phone numbers
of all past employees committed to memory. This would allow the technician to contact Bob while the client holds. However, if Bob no longer works at the company because he is dead, then the technician will need to call upon his powers of transcending the mortal fabric of existence — which should have been covered during his first week of training — to contact Bob in an alternate dimension.
Improvement Goal:
Transport backwards in time and confront Bob regarding the contradicting
misinformation he has apparently been spreading to clients. Then pinch him
unmercifully.
Shortly after reviewing the first batch of reports, the CTO had another revelation: many users are simply lazy, stupid, or lazy and stupid, and no amount of improvement could ever change that.
Source – http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Support-Should-Never-Be-Necessary.aspx
Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed from a college life to strict professional life……
How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks
but then why it gives lesssss happiness….
How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe
but then why there are less people to use them
How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger
But then why there is less hunger…..
Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed…..
How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on
but then why there are less places to go on……
How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day
but then why its feels like shop is far away…..
How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package
but then why there are less calls & more messages……
Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed…..
How a general class journey changed to Flight journey
But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….
How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop
but then why there is less time to put it on……….
How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate
But then why we always feel lonely n miss those college frnz.….
Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed….. How it changed……..
…Many people are not sure of how to find the exact version of their MSSQL server. Here’s the query to be run on SQL Query Analyzer or SQL Server Management Studio thro’ new query-
Find out the version of SQL Server 6.5 -
SELECT @@VERSION
Find out the version of SQL Server 7.0 -
SELECT @@VERSION
Find out the version of SQL Server 2000 -
SELECT SERVERPROPERTY(‘productversion’), SERVERPROPERTY (‘productlevel’), SERVERPROPERTY (‘edition’)
Find out the version of SQL Server 2005 -
SELECT SERVERPROPERTY(‘productversion’), SERVERPROPERTY (‘productlevel’), SERVERPROPERTY (‘edition’)
Find out the version of SQL Server 2008 -
SELECT SERVERPROPERTY(‘productversion’), SERVERPROPERTY (‘productlevel’), SERVERPROPERTY (‘edition’)
…To enable Full trust mode for ASP.NET sites please follow these steps-
Locate web.config file at C:\WINDOWS\Microsoft.NET\Framework\v2.0.50727\CONFIG
or
%systemroot%\Microsoft.NET\Framework\v2.0.50727\CONFIG
Add the following entries at the top of the page before the entry ‘<location allowOverride=”false”>’ (Without quotes)-
<location path=”your website name here” allowOverride=”true”>
<system.web>
<trust level=”Full” originUrl=”.*”/>
</system.web>
</location>
Finally restart IIS.
***Note: Please take a copy of web.config before making the above changes***
Problem description-
Server Error in ‘/virtual directory name’ Application.
Error in File UNKNOWN.RPT:
The request could not be submitted for background processing.
Description: An unhandled exception occurred during the execution of the current web request. Please review the stack trace for more information about the error and where it originated in the code.
Exception Details: System.Runtime.InteropServices.COMException: Error in File UNKNOWN.RPT: The request could not be submitted for background processing.
Solution-
This is most likely a permission error in C drive. To fix this please follow these steps-
Open My Computer > Right click ‘C’ drive then properties > Security tab > Click Advanced > in ‘Permissions tab’ click ‘Add’ > Add ‘Network Service’ > in the ‘Apply onto’ drop down list make sure ‘This folder only’ is selected and no other should be selected > Make ‘Read Attributes’ and ‘Read Permissions’ are checked > Click Ok > Also make sure ‘Replace permission entries on all child objects’ is NOT checked.
***Note: If you incorrectly set to anything other than ‘This folder only’ in ‘Apply onto’ dropdown list will result in severe permission issues and all of your sites will prompt for authentication so handle withe extra care.***
Many of us have a dream of owning atleast one of the fastest cars in the world atleast for one day, only very few and lucky people does whatever to enjoy such magical machines. Here’s the top ten list of world’s fastest cars measured by their speed-
#1 Shelby SuperCars – Ultimate Aero
Manufacturer – Shelby SuperCars
Top speed – 270 mph (434.5 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 2.78 seconds
Pricing – $654,400 (INR 3.19 crores)
#2 Bugatti Veyron 16.4
Manufacturer – Bugatti
Top speed – 253 mph (407 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 2.5 seconds
Pricing – $1,700,000 (INR 8.28 crores)
#3 Koenigsegg CCX
Manufacturer – Koenigsegg
Top speed – 250 mph (402.3 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 3.2 seconds
Pricing – $545,568 (INR 2.65 crores)
#4 Saleen S7 Twin-Turbo
Manufacturer – Saleen
Top speed – 248 mph (399 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 3.2 seconds
Pricing – $555,000 (INR 2.7 crores)
#5 McLaren F1
Manufacturer – McLaren
Top speed – 240 mph (386.2 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 3.2 seconds
Pricing – $970,000 (INR 4.7 crores)
#6 Ferrari Enzo
Manufacturer – Ferrari
Top speed – 217 mph (349 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 3.2 seconds
Pricing – $670,000 (INR 3.26 crores)
#7 Jaguar XJ220
Manufacturer – Tata Motors, India (Formerly owned by Jaguar)
Top speed – 217 mph (349 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 3.8 seconds
Pricing – $650,000 (INR 3.16 crores)
#8 Pagani Zonda F
Manufacturer – Pagani
Top speed – 215 mph (346 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 3.5 seconds
Pricing – $667,321 (INR 3.25 crores)
#9 Lamborghini Murcielago LP640
Manufacturer – Lamborghini
Top speed – 213 mph (342.7 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 3.3 seconds
Pricing – $430,000 (INR 2 crores)
#10 Porsche Carrera GT
Manufacturer – Porsche
Top speed – 209 mph (336 Kmph)
0-60 mph – 3.9 seconds
Pricing – $440,000 (INR 2.15 crores)
…
To change Terminal Service/RDP port please follow these steps-
*****You are about to make changes in server’s registry so any incorrect changes will result in severe problem*****
1. Open registry editor by running this command in run – regedit
2. Locate for HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\System\CurrentControlSet\Control\Terminal Server\WinStations\RDP-Tcp
3. Locate the ‘PortNumber’ subkey and find the value of d3d (in hexadecimal), change the ‘Base’ radio button to ‘Decimal’ and modify the port no. from 3389 to new one.
Note: If your server is behind hardware/software firewall please make sure to add this port in allow list so that you can establish connection from outside.
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