Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is our ramasamy.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming.
Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Ramasamy says to himself,
‘I do not know JAVA, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try !’

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more
than 100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Ramasamy says to himself
‘I never managed anybody by myself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can
happen to me ?’ So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Ramasamy says to himself,

‘I left school at 15, but what have I got to lose ?’ So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat
to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Ramasamy says to himself,

‘I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose ?’ So he stays
and finds himself with one other candidate; Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said ‘Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.’
Calmly, ramasamy turns to the other candidate and says ‘ Endha ooru ? ‘
The other candidate answers, ‘ Thoothukudi pakkam, Neenga??!!!!! ‘
Madurai…. Tamilians rock.

“`*“`arun …

1. If time doesn’t wait for you don’t worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian! Think about it.

3. Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!! !!

4. Don’t walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don’t care who rules the world! That’s called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked or drank, had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles? He’s now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow death for sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

“`*“`arun …

Wishing you and your family a Happy Christmas!

“`*“`arun …

#12. I’m in the management training program. I’m actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) that I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

#11. I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without hands.

#10. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.

#9. This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to.

#8. Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time.

#7. I wasn’t sleeping. I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

#6. I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.

#5. I was doing a highly specific yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminating against people who practice yoga?

#4. Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our company’s biggest problem.

#3. The coffee machine is broken…

#2. Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot…

And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:

#1. And, finally, I pray for the future of our company. Amen.

“`*“`arun …

Be true to yourself.
Live your own life.
and don’t allow others
to decide what is best for you.

If you do you will be unhappy
because you are untrue to yourself.

“`*“`arun …

He didn’t like the curry
And he didn’t like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard…
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn’t prepare the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew,
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Isn’t there anything I could do
To match his mothers shoe
Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around
and slapped him tight
Like his mother used to!!!!
- Author unknown…

“`*“`arun …